


Worry Wart

by foxymonstrocity



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Anxiety, Cheating, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, do ya thing house
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 21:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10862529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxymonstrocity/pseuds/foxymonstrocity
Summary: It's nearing your 1 year anniversary with the infamous Murdoc Niccals and he does something almost unforgivable. Will you be able to get through this?





	Worry Wart

**Author's Note:**

> PSA cheating isn't ok!  
> i dunno if this is kinda cliche but it's a gift for my friend who's in love with this weird pickle. there maaaaaay be a continuation, we'll see ;3  
> enjoy!

||Worry Wart||

Murdoc x Reader

||Warnings||

abuse kinda¿  
swearing  
cheating  
arguing/ fighting  
anxiety

 

You asked the same questions so often you had an autopilot when the cameras were shoved in your face. The main one everyone wanted to know was;

"What is it like dating a celebrity?"

The word toxic came to mind but never left your tongue. You would always flash a smile and hug his arm tighter and brag about how amazing it was. Your boyfriend would quickly wave off the paparazzi after he had got what he wanted and then shrug you off his arm. When you had first started dating him, he would shield you from the cameras and scare them away. Slowly it became all too normal, inevitable really, but you'd accepted that they would be in your business from time to time- so long as you were dating Murdoc. People were always curious of how you to came to be- or, more accurately, why you would want to be with him! It wasn't a secret that Murdoc could be an asshole, which was a compliment compared to the other words people used, and you were so kind! Your friends were mainly worried he would taint your purity. The two of you combined could pass for polar opposites, minus your shared love for alcohol.   
You'd actually met Murdoc at your brothers grand opening of his club. He'd worked so hard to make sure everything was perfect for tonight that he forgot how hectic the first night would be. One bartender was in the hospital and suddenly he was convinced his night would be a disaster. You knew he wanted perfection more than anything and offered to stand in for the bartender. Your mother taught you to make drinks at a rather young age for her and her father, apparently you had a knack for it! You took the night off at your regular bar tending job to congratulate your brother, celebrate at his club with him but helping him out was just as rewarding! He actually cried he was so grateful.   
You were quick to make drinks, serving one person after another so they could take them to the dance floor. Within an hour after opening you had $200 in tips which was way more than you made on a regular night at your own job! However the loud music or flashing lights didn't help with your anxiety- in fact could use a smoke right about now. Just as things calmed down and everyone migrated to the dance floor, screams rang through the club. 

"What was that?" You asked the other bartender who looked just as confused as you.

"Probably a celebrity or somfin'." They guessed.

The crowd split up as a group walked through, lead by a strangely attractive man. You almost recognized them immediately but put on your poker face. It would be unprofessional for you to scream in delight at their appearance. The Gorillaz band members, the best damn musicians you'd ever heard in your life! Noodle, the young Asian, didn't bother with alcohol. She headed straight to the dance floor and was immediately invited up on the stage to dance on. Russel seemed to glare at a group of men, probably not pleased the way they were ogling at his somewhat adopted daughter. He sat in a booth close to the stage where he could keep an eye on them and order a drink. 2D, the singer, trailed behind Murdoc as he strut up to the bar- right to you. 

 

Just as you were about to have a smoke too. 

Damnit. 

 

It would look bad on you and your brother's club to leave when they clearly wanted your service. So you waited patiently as Murdoc leaned forward on the bar table. 

"5 shots of your hardest alcohol." He grinned, his teeth yellower and sharper then pictures lead on.

"Apple juice, f'me." 2D spoke over the loud music, giving a weak smile as a please. 

"You got it, boys." Quicker than before, you whipped up their drinks and set them on the counter.

2D seemed impressed by your bar tending skills while Murdoc threw back each of his shots. The bassist mumbled something to the azure haired man and he took his drink and left, desperately looking for a familiar face. You silently hoped he found where Russel was sitting. 

"Y'know, I never usually come to these places." Murdoc said, consuming another shot. 

"Why's that?" You asked, pretty curious.

"Can't dance."

You snorted and quickly covered your smile with your hand.

"What's so funny?" Murdoc smirked amused and surprisingly not mad you'd just laughed at him. 

"Well I've seen your music videos, Mr. Nicalls, so that's bullshit."

"Bullshit, aye?" His smirk turned into a light smile as he chuckled, "You think that was dancing?" 

"Well my second guess was always that you were having sex with a ghost." 

Murdoc burst out laughing at that comment. You smiled, proud you were able to make this man laugh. He seemed like he never smiled unless he was drunk. After he finished his last shot, he ordered a beer but never touched it. The two of you became engrossed in a conversation of tasteful banter. Murdoc threw a few bad pick up lines to hear your genuine laugh, which you admitted you didn't like. Obviously it was too late to hide it but you couldn't help snorting when you started laughing. He found it adorable, he also appreciated that he could tell you were genuinely laughing at his horrible jokes and pickup lines. You'd forgotten about your worries until a man bluntly hit on you while ordering a drink. Discomfort was clear on your face which made Murdoc straighten his spine to appear intimidating. Suddenly a wave of surprised anxiety hit you and you couldn't stop shaking. The bassist noticed how carefully you poured his drink. Watching your moves instead of confidently whipping it up, like you'd previously done. The shaking became uncontrollable and you dropped the bottle of alcohol, watching as it shattered on the bar top. It couldn't be heard over the loud music, only Murdoc and the man were there to see the incident unfold. The man was clearly upset about his shirt being stained with alcohol, moving to hell at you.  
Murdoc stood up, shoved him back and shouted at him, clenching his fists as a warning. The man mumbled curses under his breath and stormed off. Murdoc turned to you, only to see you staring petrified at the floor, your hands holding your head as if it would fall off. He caught your attention and practically dragged you out of the club. Since you were outside, now was as good as time as ever to smoke. You held your cigarette between your shaking fingers, tears of frustration pricking at your eyes as you couldn't start up a flame with your lighter. A black lighter was flicked in front of your face, a flame starting up and burning the end of of your cigarette. You desperately took a drag and sighed out in relief.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it." Murdoc replied, lighting up his own smoke. 

"Most people would freak out and think I'm havin' a seizure." You let out a dark, breathy laugh that concerned the man next to you. He leaned his back against the wall and you copied his action.

"That face ache, 2D, gets those panic attacks sometimes. I 'ad to read up on what to do." Murdoc explained. You smiled at that, so he does have some kind of heart somewhere inside of him! The rest of your time smoking was spent in silence. The faint sound of music could be heard through the walls but other than that it was peaceful. 

"You feelin' better?" Murdoc asked as he stomped on his cigarette to put it out.

"A bit." You sighed, combing through your hair with your fingers, "I should probably get back to work."

"What're you doin' after?" Murdoc asked, tugging the collar of his shirt. If you'd that it was his nervous habit you would've said something. Instead you replied with a snarky comment that made him chuckle.

"Not you." 

Murdoc rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled nervously. 

"I'm not lookin' for a one night stand." You replied seriously.

"Neither am I!- At least not right now." He smirked and you threw him a playful glare. 

"How about," You pulled a pen from your shirt pocket and reached for his hand, "I give you my phone number. You call me when you're done being a hormonal teen." 

You winked at him after scribbling down your number on his hand with a small heart. A worrisome feeling of doubt formed in your chest, he probably wouldn't call you. Yet the next week you received a text from an unknown number around 2am.

"How bout we drink together this time. - Murdoc"

 

That was about 11 months ago. 

 

You two had been going steady since then and your one year anniversary was coming up. You lost all enthusiasm in the date when you realized he didn't even remember. Murdoc deeply cared for you but opening up wasn't his specialty. The more he began to fall for you, the further he tried to push you away. Most of the time you were good at reacting to his temper, he tried not to let it get the best of him when you were around. Occasionally you two would fight so bad it would trigger an anxiety attack and Murdoc would have to make it up to you. He'd only have you lose your temper on him once, that ended with a black eye and sleeping on the couch for him. Since then, and most of the time, you two didn't argue and you were content! Though lately, Murdoc seemed disinterested in you. He was drinking a lot more, only spending time with you alone if he had alcohol. Otherwise he was grouchy, hungover, hidden away in his stupid Hawaiian room- or the combination. At least when he was drunk he'd want to spend time with you, even if he couldn't form coherent sentences. You knew feelings was a topic he avoided like salvation but you had to bring it up. Bottling feelings was his specialty and it wasn't healthy for either of you. 

Sadly you slumped on the couch and began watching a terrible zombie movie with 2D and Russel. It became hilarious with the drummers commentary, you snorting at a few things he said. Soon 2D and Russel made a competition to see who could make you genuinely laugh the hardest. Laughter rang through the living room as the front door opened, Murdoc and Noodle entered with takeout food bags. They watched as you fell off the couch, snorting at Russel's recent comment. A pang of jealousy hit, making him clench his jaw and glare at his band members. The bassist dropped the takeout bag on the table and quickly stormed to his Hawaiian themed room. You immediately stopped laughing when you noticed he walked by. Your smile faded quickly when he didn't even stop to say hello. Russel and 2D gave you pitied looks, they knew you didn't deserve this treatment but you were obviously too invested in Murdoc to leave him. They could tell you'd fallen harder for him than he had for you- not to say he wasn't interested in you, but you'd drunkenly admitted you loved him. Though never to Murdoc, you had a feeling he wouldn't respond positively. Russel, 2D and Noodle began to eat as you got up and headed to the kitchen. Anxiety subtly began creeping in with each step you took towards Murdoc's "Hawaii".

Turning the handle, you made your presence known,

"Knock, knock." You smiled hopefully. Murdoc didn't so much as turn his head as you opened the door.

"You're supposed to knock before openin' the door, y'know." He growled making you flinch.

"Are you hungry? I- I could fix you a plate?" You offered, anxiety slowly impacting you. Your smile faltered when you noticed lipstick on the shirt he was taking off.

"No. M'not hungry." 

"Murdoc." You stood your ground, glaring at him even though he wouldn't face you, "What is-"

"Can't you see I'm busy? Sweet Satan, I don't have time for you!" Murdoc yelled, standing up and finally turning to you. 

You gasped and covered your mouth when you saw his neck. Covered in dark hickeys and lipstick stains. Words couldn't even form in your mind as your heart began racing, beating in your chest so hard you couldn't feel anything else. You were about to pass out. Murdoc's glare disappeared when he realized he was staring at an open door.  
Russel stood up as you ran from the kitchen, 2D and Noodle looking at you also. Your hands were shaking terribly as you gripped the door handle for dear life and struggled with the lock. Hot tears poured down your cheeks as you sprinted as quickly as you could towards your own apartment. You've been staying there a lot more since Murdoc stopped inviting you to spend the night. One evening the rain was pouring down and you'd asked if you could stay. Your boyfriend simply said he didn't care what you did. You didn't ask again after that. You were almost home when you realized you could stop running, you were far enough now. With a huff you slowed your pace to a walk, sadly sniffling as you made your way up to your empty apartment. 

"Murdoc, what did you do?" Russel pointed a finger at the shirtless man standing in the kitchen doorway, he was rubbing his neck nervously. Normally the band members would mind their own business, especially when it came to relationships, however the drummer wouldn't let this slide.

"Me?" Murdoc asked dramatically, "Why- Why I haven't done a thing! (Name) jus-"

"Don't make me break your nose again." Russel threatened, stomping towards the man. Noodle jumped between them in case she needed to stop Russ. She knew how well you and him got along, if Murdoc wasn't around you two would have a lot of fun. You were both very classy and had a lot of nice conversations. However Russel couldn't fix this problem for Murdoc- especially not with violence. The answer became clear to them all when the greenish man moved his hand off his neck. They offered him no advice, they simply migrated back to the couch area. Murdoc knew he was in the wrong. It was a moment of weakness and he felt guilty for it. 

 

All of it. 

 

He had pushed you away and cheated on you, there was no excuse. Murdoc immensely regretted what he had done and didn't know if there was even redemption for stooping this low. The man cursed himself, sucked up his pride and walked up the stairs to get a turtleneck. It would be cold inside your apartment, anyways. Murdoc knew when you needed to comfort yourself that you would wrap yourself in blankets, so to avoid heat stroke you made your apartment as cold as the antarctic! His band mates watched him leave, hopeful looks in their eyes.   
The walk to your apartment itself wasn't horrible, when Murdoc realized he was standing in front of your door with no sort of plan is when he began to panic. He could hear your favorite movie, (fav movie), faintly playing through the walls. Again he had to suck up his pride before gently tapping his knuckles on the door. There was silence, you probably paused the movie, a bit of shuffling and finally the lock unlatching. You opened the door and Murdoc felt like a knife was struck through his chest. You'd obviously been crying and it broke his heart to see you like this. Your (e/c) eyes were red and puffy, tears almost seemed to stain your flushed cheeks. 

"Have time for me now?" You asked bitterly, moving your hand to slam the door. Murdoc stopped the door from closing on him and pushed himself inside, only then did he let the door close.

"Murdoc get-!" You were cut off by his dirty hand covering your mouth. Instinctively you bit down as hard as you could, making him howl in pain. He shook you off and jumped back, you both glared at each other from a distant. Your icy stare faltered as tears began to from but stubbornness wouldn't let you look away! You continued to give Murdoc a weak glare as you began to sob. The man's expression changed completely after that. He was torn between running over and holding you and staying put to give you space. When you were upset like this you could be unpredictable- and he wasn't ready to have his nose broken again!

"How dare you." You cried, although there was more to say you couldn't muster up the words.

"There's no excuse for- for what I did, love, but-"

"I thought I knew exactly what I was getting into when we met up the first time." You growled through clenched teeth, "And I thought you did too."

Murdoc flinched at your words. His reputation was no secret, he slept around. You'd made it very clear it wasn't your intentions to screw him and leave. You told him twice he could walk away any time and he wouldn't judge you but despite his reputation and your offer, he stayed. Murdoc was intrigued at first but the more time he spent with you, the more he ended up liking you... which always ended up negatively in his favor. You knew little of Murdoc's past but from what he told you, it was far from pleasant. You always offered for him to open up to you but he would constantly shoot you down, in your gut you knew it was because he was terrified of being hurt again. 

"I thought you could care about one thing- ONE THING as much as yourself if not a little less." You cried, holding yourself now as you began to shake, "I thought you loved me and I was an idiot for that." 

Murdoc saw where this was headed, you began shaking and hyperventilating which could only mean one thing. He ran over and gently holding you against the nearest wall. You continued to cry, avoiding looking at him by holding your head in your hands.

"Do you k-know how many nights I p-panicked? Would y-you even care?" You glared at him, tears streaming down your face, "Every f-fucking day you were gone I w-would get awful anxiety a-attacks, wondering if y-you were with another g-girl!"

"I c-couldn't watch some of your stupid m-music videos because I w-was scared I would se-e you.." You cried, looking to the floor again.

"(Name), I-I love you." Murdoc said at last. He'd never said anything remotely close to those words before but he wouldn't lie. You looked up from the floor and locked your eyes with his. 

"I love you." He said again, "I fucked up, I know, a-an' you don' have to forgive me."

You narrowed your eyes but listened.

"But I-I couldn't even go through with it! Kissin' her felt.. wrong."

"No shit, Niccals, you're in a relationship ship!" You screamed.

"I don' mean- I mean. Ugh! I missed you!" You raised a brow at that, "All I wanted to do was kiss you, I couldn' enjoy a second! It was like you had a spell on me."

"I regret doin' it and especially hurtin' you." Murdoc inhaled and have a nervous chuckle, "I was scared- still am! But..."

"Yes?" A smirk slowly started to grow on your lips.

"I- I- I would like one more chance." He sighed, "Pleeeeeeease."

"Ok."

"Ok?" Murdoc looked genuinely shocked. 

"I forgive you but you're not off the hook. You're going to go get us (fav drink), (fav candy)." You crossed your arms, "Then when you come back, we're going to deal with your shit."

Murdoc rolled his eyes and mumbled some curses along with a sarcastic 'yes, dear.'. Even though he'd just lost his pride and allowed you to order him around, he smiled and hugged you close. You wondered if you would regret this for a moment but quickly swallowed your anxiety. Your quick heartbeat was out of joy, for once. If Murdoc fucking Niccals could admit he loved someone, that someone being you, then things could change for the better. He still may be that silly, loud pickle but he was all yours now and he would make sure you knew it. 

After all your anniversary is coming up.


End file.
